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Club 65, if I could make an association where everybody who is young at heart could do things of their choice without any social barriers. It would be Club 65 and I would make my father the President of that. He belongs to my generation and generations to come…I asked him the other day, “I want to go to someplace with you, just you and me.”  Chandigarh Clubbing chale, he said with immense enthusiasm.
He is the only man I know who talks about his dreams, his daydreams… I am so much like him in that manner. Or maybe I haven’t taken after him and not my mother. Over-emotional, extremely sensitive and not so quick to forgive but I have something of my father which is just mine.Grinding my teeth in my sleep is not worth mentioning here! it’s his ability to stay waxed like the lotus. He represents the purity of the body, speech, and mind as if floating above the muddy waters of attachment and desire. Yes, I do resemble him there.
As a kid, he used to call me “bholeya” (in a Punjabi accent)oh! How uncool I used to think. He knew me more than I knew myself. He tells me that I was a stubborn infant, every time he would stop me from putting my hand in my mouth, I would retaliate, cry or make a face and he could never say a word to me because my face resembled like that of his mom’s(my grandmother). I think it was my way of saying “let me be”
He would treat me with utmost care and would let me do all that I wished.
When he was about to leave me alone in the hostel, we sat across the table a night before and we both cried, never said anything to each other…that was even more emotional than my farewell as a bride. I was 16 and he had no confidence that I can even board a bus on my own. You are easily influenced, he said to me… “Don’t listen to your heart alone for the heart is seductive, listen to your head too, make your own mistakes. Try not to do anything that makes me less proud but just try, I will stand by your mistakes too…and don’t get wooed by men, try to woo them because you are much smarter than any boy of your age”..Nothing more and next morning we left for Patiala.To the world where he was throwing his little penguin to learn swimming.
Years later, I had my first drink with him, I remember as a kid, he wouldn’t mind his little girl taking a sip from his glass as he cared less for if its right or wrong.” I want you out drink all the boys of your age”, he said to me..A girl must always know how to handle her drinks yet should not forget how to enjoy.For my five years of stay in Australia, I had long discussions with him over the phone over which alcohol tastes better and why, we discussed all the nasty abusive words of Punjabi, we even talked about poetry, literature.
I still remember how proud he felt when he saw me graduating wearing that black robe.We raised a toast that evening and danced on ‘Usher’ .I made him meet Mr James Coulson, the teacher I never liked but Mr Coulson said, your daughter is a very determined girl. That was one proud moment for him.
I always wanted to be an architect, from the age of 12, I became one, I wanted to go abroad to study, I went, I wanted to come back because I was miserably in love. I came back. Not even once he said what are you doing with your life? He knew I will find my anchor.
I even dictated my decision to get married to the boy I love. “The Boy I love gives me space just like you do Dad, He doesn’t want to rule me, he just wants to let me be”.. and I am so glad both my men can talk a lot over few drinks.
Papa taught me how to dance, The kids would laugh if I would say that in school..moms are supposed to teach such things but papa did it for me. He is not a dancer himself but he taught me how to free myself with music. I was his shy kid, I would look at the floor and dance and he would make videos after videos to show me “look up in the eye of your audience, no one is better than you” he would say.
All these are random thoughts that came to my mind the other day when I went to see him and while he was telling me that he needs to see his newly found friend in Chandigarh and I was acting like a strict parent telling him, he cannot travel alone. We talk less now, maybe I am growing up too fast but we know our equation.
 My mother was complaining of him being too naïve all his life for he could not take any bribes and be like his other colleagues. He just smiled innocently at her and said-“does that not make you proud of me? I have lived an honest life with no fears”…and I could see myself resonating in his words..”bholeya” I thought of that word, You are indeed a pure soul
Yes, I have taken after you more than anyone else in the family Papa, because we are what we are; we may be less impressive to the world, away from the seductive society living a life of our choices.
“I am so blessed to have you as a reason of my existence